Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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