I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize