Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
