took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
