Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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