I cockslap morals
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
