I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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