wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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