We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
