Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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