Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
