I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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