Sponge bath it is.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize