so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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