My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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