Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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