I'm jealous of your bromance
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize