Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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