yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
