youre lurking in front of me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
