I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
