there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
