We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
