His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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