dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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