don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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