So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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