Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
