Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
