Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
North Korea, Best Korea!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
