you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
