You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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