Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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