Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
