Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize