Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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