Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
