Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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