i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
