I feel great
I just peed on a car
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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