I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize