and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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