Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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