called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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