could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
