Little spoons don't ask big questions
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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