your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
