whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
