For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
