What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
okay pat passed out under dana's car
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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