Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize