i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize