Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
