that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
