There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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