I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
