Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
