Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
