the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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