There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
