Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
