I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
