and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize