i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
