in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
