hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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