One girl and one boy is just not enough.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
