Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Randomize
