I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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