I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
