What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
