oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
