is your mom at the bar?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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