i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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